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Dairy of Spread Bettor Week 10 - Football

Dairy of Spread Bettor Week 10 - Football

 

 

Thursday 23rd July

Golf punters all round the world will know that ‘moving day’ is always on a Saturday. However, my ‘moving day’ was today and involved a lorry, a one hundred and seventy mile journey, four men (one with ‘love’ and ‘hate’ tattooed on his knuckles – genuinely!) and last but not least, a losing bet at Epsom.

 

The bet in question was on a supposed two-year-old flying machine of John Gosden’s called Key Breeze in the 7.10pm contest at Epsom. The colt was having its second racecourse start having had the perfect introduction when fifth in a decent Doncaster maiden last month. Cutting a rather long and boring story short, it was backed from 7/2 into 9/4 and finished a well beaten 5th of 6th!

 

I suppose it serves me right for trusting anything that’s only two-years-old with my hard earned cash. Let’s face it, my two year-old son Alfie’s current specialist skill sets are putting mobile phones into a full bath and wearing his five-year-old sister’s fluffy fairy high-heeled play shoes. Hopefully he’ll grow out of both of those two things fast – particularly the latter!

 

The men finished unloading about 10 minutes after Key Breeze crossed the line (they were about the only things that did finish behind the beast!) and we were left with the simple task of unpacking about 100 boxes. I’m sure that ‘‘Love’ and ‘Hate’’ used to be a burglar once upon a time and after a few years behind bars was getting himself back on the job ladder (rather than a ladder up through someone’s bedroom window!). It’s the perfect job for him now as he is basically spending every day going into strangers’ houses and loading things into boxes and bags as quickly as possible – this time though, he is doing it legally.

 

Friday 24th July

I was distracted from box unpacking by
<A HREF="http://www.sportingindex.com/">
Sporting Index’s
</A>

 release of their Premiership Points prices for next season (the way I’ve written that sounds like they’d been holding them hostage!).

 

Ronaldoless Manchester United look like a sell at 81.5 points, although I’ll probably wait to sell them in a match bet with Chelsea (who I fancy to win the title) when those prices appear. Man City definitely look ‘sell’ material at 65.5 and if they carry on spending that price will only go up. As an Arsenal fan, I was thrilled to see Adebayor make his way up to the North-West, but would be less keen for Toure to follow. Why don’t they want Bendtner?

 

Saturday 25th July

King George VI and Queen Elizabeth Stakes at Ascot. I’m sure the word ‘Diamond’ used to be in the title between the words ‘Elizabeth’ and ‘Stakes’. The race used to be sponsored by De Beers so presume the winner used to get a great big diamond. They’ve subtly changed the title and is so doing lowered the value of the prize – look out for next year’s 200 Guineas at Newmarket!

 

I fancied Conduit to land the prize and bought last year’s St Leger winner on the index and made a nice £180 profit for a £10 buy. Sir Michael Stoute remarkably trained the first three home in the race which was a brilliant achievement – one worthy of a diamond!

 

Left the South Africa and New Zealand match alone which was a huge result as I think I probably would have got with the All Blacks which would have been expensive. Missed the last couple of races and returned home to unpack a few more boxes and retrieve a few more mobile phones from the bath…

 

Sunday 26th July

Day of rest. My arse. Spent the day unpacking the final load of boxes with Attheraces on in the background – made sure we didn’t move into a house without Sky.

 

I bought Beethoven at 15 on the 50-30-20-10 Phoenix <A HREF="http://www.sportingindex.com/"> Stakes index </A> for £10 and having looked a serious danger at the furlong pole, faded out of contention and made up 0. However, I was soon back in the winner’s enclosure in Cologne when Pressing landed a Group One success for Michael Jarvis. I won £200 for my £10 buy which made me £50 up for the day.

 

Monday 27th July

Don’t you just love a gamble on a horse with rubbish form from a yard you know nothing about? Well, Mr T T Clement had obviously given the owners the green light to back Ela Gorrie Mou in the 6.40pm at Windsor and by lunchtime the whisper had become a roar. The 8s was soon 7s, then 6s, then 5s, then 9/2… then, NR! The cat was out the bag and the horse never even made it to the racecourse. Look out for the horse in the next few weeks… thousands of others will be and it could be a cracking sell on the index!

 

By the way, we have a Polish Au Pair at the moment who loves our new house because there are loads of wild mushrooms growing in the nearby woods. She spent most of the evening cooking the selection of rotting vegetation she had collected in her basket and the whole house stank. I pretended to taste the sample she gave me and told her it was delicious… I then realised that was possibly a huge mistake!

 

Tuesday 28th July

The first day of Glorious Goodwood and the drive through deep and darkest Sussex is one of the most magical roads in the country – it’s also a shocker for mobile phone reception as I found when trying to listen to the commentary of the last race on the way back home. Backed Finjaan at 7/1 to win the feature race which put the ‘Glorious’ into Glorious Goodwood. I suppose if it hadn’t won the drive would have been a ‘nightmare’ and it would have just been Goodwood without the glorious bit.

 

To cap a great day, I sold Main Aim and JJ The Jet Plane on the index both for £10 and both finished outside of the points netting me just under £500 worth of profit. I had a smile on my face the whole way home. That was until I walked in through the front door to be confronted by the mushroom of all mushrooms!

 

It was the size of a grapefruit and had been ripped from the foot of a tree. It had been sliced into four pieces and fried in breadcrumbs. It basically looked like a sandy dog turd and I was standing face to face with it.

 

It tasted exactly like it looked and I was stopped by Mushroom girl from washing it down with any alcohol. ‘It is dangerooz’, she told me. ‘Dangerooz to drink bear with mushroomz’. She went on to explain that some people think the mushroom I had just tasted is poisonous but it isn’t. Jesus. I was now gambling with my food…

 

Wednesday 29th July

I woke up – which had genuinely been no bigger than a 7/4 shot 8 hours earlier. It was the second day of Goodwood and also just 24 hours until the start of the third Ashes Test Match. The racing looked really tricky and with doubts over the participation of the leading two in the Sussex Stakes I opted to leave it alone.

 

Instead I started to build up some cricket bets and sold another £5 of lowest all out score at 170 with 210 already on the scoreboard. Also sold £5 of ‘Losing your Bottle’ at 43 where 1pt is given for each run under 200 that any team registers as a final innings total. I’ve just got a sneaky feeling that there are plenty of collapses to come – better send some mushrooms to both team dressing rooms!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author

chris is a Google advertising professional and a media analyst with a flair for creative writing.

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